“It’s always the person who thinks things are easy that finds them the hardest in the end…The way to see it: everything is potentially tricky.” – The Tao Te Ching

In our last newsletter, we talked about the romanticized version of being a parent to a new baby.  Today, lets look at the other side.

There was a morning when I was alone with Silas, and he would not stop crying no matter what I did.  I tried the bottle, I checked his diaper, I tried to burp him, I tried to rock him, I sang to him, I walked around with him, I held him in every position that might alleviate whatever gas he was having, I turned the lights on and off, walked fast and slow, swaddled him, unswaddled him, reswaddled him, put the pacifier in, took it out…
Nothing seemed to work.

I always think of myself as a peaceful, cool and collected person, but I was so frustrated.  I’m sure I raised my voice, and I even had a moment of THINKING about shaking him!  As soon as I came to my senses, I was appalled at how I lost my cool and how angry and frustrated I was with this tiny little new born baby.

Immediately after I felt guilty.  I felt so ashamed.  Afterwards I looked into his tiny face and wondered, will he remember this?  Will he hate me?

These are questions that every parent faces.  The endless sleep deprived nights lead to all sorts of terrifying questions that float through your brain during the pre-dawn feedings…
How do I know I’m giving him/her what he needs?
What have we done?
What was I thinking?
I can’t do this one more night.

But there are also those wonderful thoughts…
What will he/she grow up to be?
This is amazing!
I can’t believe how fast he’s growing.
He’s miraculous.

Tears of joy mixed with feelings of frustration.
And then, as dawn breaks, and the darkest part of the night is over… that energy picks up as the morning coffee wafts through the air, and away we go!  We are on a mission.

Our children, both as parents and educators, push the envelope of our abilities, making us stronger and wiser as we struggle to support the development of a compassionate, grounded and inspired next generation – tomorrow’s leaders.

I am so happy to have the experience I do and all this information to share through Dream Big Science & Art.  We as educators and parents are shaping the future for both my little 5 month old son, Silas, and all the children who will benefit from our contribution to their lives.